LISTEN AND COMMENT ON TRACKS? WHY?

<p class="paragraph_style_2">When I first started making music in December 2009, I had 4 original songs and 1 cover song that I had worked on during that month (with NO experience or training WHATSOEVER, I might add) and went as far as I could get with them, then thought... NOW WHAT???&nbsp; EVERY DAY that month I would come straight home after work during the week and spend a few hours each day over the weekends.&nbsp; Now I was at a point where I had 5 songs and nothing in the idea factory, is there a next step?&nbsp; Were they good?&nbsp; Am I done with this experiment?&nbsp; Should I care if someone thinks it is horrible? Is it okay to think that this was the coolest thing that I have ever done??? Could this be the last question that I ask myself???&nbsp; All kinds of questions popped into my head, yet I could not answer them myself because my brain hit a dead end after that burst of creative outflow.&nbsp; After hearing the muddy sound, I figured I would mess with the placement of instruments - I spent about an hour mixing those first 4 songs!!!&nbsp; I didn't know I'd end up wasting an extra 15 minutes per song doing something that had nothing to do with making music!&nbsp; How much I've learned since then!&nbsp; I would sacrifice any one of my guitars if I could live in a world where it only took 15 minutes for me to mix a song now!&nbsp; Anyways, I was at a point where I was in need of a listener!&nbsp; I only knew of iTunes and CD's at the time and iTunes was for professionals.&nbsp; I made a 5 song "EP" and called it "BADASS," because that's how good I felt.&nbsp; I happened to have a family picture with me on a zebra/donkey - or a &ldquo;zonkey&rdquo; - in Tijuana, so I thought that would make the title a little more humbling and I made about 10 CD&rsquo;s, to give out to the first 10 people who had showed any interest.&nbsp;&nbsp; I still have about 5 or 6 left.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p><p class="paragraph_style_2">&nbsp;</p><p class="paragraph_style_2">So, WHO should be the CHOSEN ONE to be granted the privilege to be my first listener?&nbsp; GOT IT!&nbsp; Out of all of the people from the past, present and in the future that will ever be on this (or any other) planet, I decided that my girlfriend would be my choice to have access to this top secret endeavor - after all, she did know me before I was a musician - I knew I could trust her.&nbsp; I played my first song, DROWNING" for her and she talked through the whole song.&nbsp; Then I started the next song for her and she obviously had other things on her mind because she walked out of the room for something and came back in to resume her historic privilege to be my first listener.&nbsp; Her talking continued until the songs were finished playing.&nbsp; Then she got up and said, "Yeah, those were good."&nbsp; FIRST OF ALL, HOW CAN A PERSON WORSHIP THESE SONGS IF THEY DON&rsquo;T FOCUS ON THEM?&nbsp; YOU NEED TO LET EACH SONG ENTER YOUR MIND IN ITS NATURAL, SPIRITUAL WAY - WORSHIPPERS NEED TO HAVE THE &ldquo;WORSHIP&rdquo; COME FROM DEEP WITHIN! I have listened to music before, one needs to pay attention to the lyrics, feeling, musicianship, and technical skills - she didn't do ANY of those, so my music couldn't have been assessed reliably.&nbsp; So, I had to declare the judgement biased.&nbsp; Who could really blame her???&nbsp; She loves everything I do and was probably overwhelmed due to the fact that she was now officially going out with a musician - her loyalty was forgiven.&nbsp; She calls each of my songs by a personalized descriptor, such as, "that one song that is short where you&rsquo;re yelling something and then you laugh like a maniac."&nbsp; She would rather say all of those words than just say "OCHO," so, I let her talk the description out since she likes talking about my music. &nbsp; But now I'm back to where I was - I'm back to finding the first listener. &nbsp;</p><p class="paragraph_style_2">&nbsp;</p><p class="paragraph_style_2">OF COURSE!!!&nbsp; MY BEST FRIEND!!!&nbsp; We know each other&rsquo;s good and bad sides, and we accept each other for the person we are - he actually has a longer history knowing the real me than my girlfriend, I should have thought of him first!&nbsp; Oh well, we'll be even now that I'll let him be the first to LISTEN to these.&nbsp; He will be impressed and proud to have me as his best friend after hearing my tunes.&nbsp; This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that will probably lead to him telling all of his other friends that they are cool and everything, but his BEST FRIEND trusts him to experience his music before anyone else gets the chance to, and no matter how many miles are between, they shouldn&rsquo;t assume that they will be moving in to the &ldquo;lead friend&rdquo; position any time soon - because it is already taken.&nbsp; So, since he lives in Washington and I live In California, email was going to have to be the way to present this opportunity to him.&nbsp; He&rsquo;ll be getting the &ldquo;straight dope&rdquo; - as the kids love to say - straight from his "musician buddy down in L.A."&nbsp; After I sent an email with the music attachments, I was feeling good.&nbsp; It&rsquo;s nice to give special gifts to your friends when they are not expecting them.&nbsp; He was probably so excited to see that in the midst of all of his spam emails.&nbsp; A couple of days later I called to find out which track he loved the most.&nbsp; I was informed that he hadn't had the time&nbsp;yet, so I figured that he wanted to do this &ldquo;old school&rdquo; - those kids and their slang, they really crack me up!&nbsp; He probably didn&rsquo;t want to just listen to the songs right after complaining about viagra emails, he wanted to be relaxed, with a freshly-rolled "cigarette" and listen to this creation in the dark with some headphones - sorta like when I purchased PINK FLOYD'S "ANIMALS" album and we took turns listening to the songs, with and without headphones, so we could try to find out WHY the album sounded better WITH the headphones (it also sounded better WITH Cocoa Puffs...) you see, guys are on a whole different level when it comes to mixing pleasure with the scientific method!&nbsp; This time I would wait for his call to me - since it was his Sunday to call with the football odds.&nbsp; He would have Friday night to listen to the 5 songs, and then he&rsquo;d probably invite some friends over to listen again with them on Saturday night... I can show a little patience.&nbsp; Apparently, his company had been working him like a dog that whole week.&nbsp; His damn boss was being some kind of "well-healed, big wheel" telling MY friend, "keep on digging" down in the pig bin!&nbsp; I told him not to worry about listening to my song - I didn't want my song "DROWNING" to be his new fate - it was hard enough to hear that he had ended up living in the "PIGS, THREE DIFFERENT ONES" story... I didn't know he would take the songs all the way like this.&nbsp; Of course, I know it could have been &ldquo;just a co-incidence&rdquo; - but, why chance it, he is my best friend.&nbsp; Come to think of it, I don't think he has listened to many of my songs - he has never even mentioned them.&nbsp; His boss must be a real pig-headed, jerk!</p><p class="paragraph_style_2">&nbsp;</p><p class="paragraph_style_2">NOW WHO????&nbsp;&nbsp; FAMILY! &nbsp; FIRST REPLIES: ALL GENERIC!&nbsp; "I like your songs."&nbsp; "Those are good."&nbsp; "Nice."&nbsp; "I'm impressed."&nbsp; THAT'S NOT WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR!!!!&nbsp; DO THEY MOVE YOU??&nbsp; DOES YOUR SKIN HAVE GOOSEBUMPS DURING MY LAUGH IN &ldquo;OCHO?&rdquo;&nbsp; IF NOT, WHAT DO YOU THINK MY SONGS ARE LACKING?&nbsp; WHY DO THEY SEEM SO MUCH DIFFERENT FROM PROFESSIONALLY RECORDED MUSIC?&nbsp; I NEED SOME KIND OF DIRECTION FROM SOMEBODY WHO KNOWS WHAT I COULD DO TO IMPROVE MY MUSIC!&nbsp; NOBODY WANTS TO TELL ME!&nbsp; I DON'T KNOW, SO DO THEY EVEN KNOW???&nbsp; I decided to Google "music critics" and found a music web site that had a forum that allowed a person to ask for reviews.&nbsp; BINGO!!!!&nbsp; The internet comes through again!&nbsp; What a wonderful tool the internet has become!!!&nbsp; How Al Gore invented the internet AND had more votes than George W. Bush in the 2000 election and STILL LOST that election will always be a mystery to me. Maybe it has to do with all of the voting fraud that minorities are committing - damn minorities!&nbsp; They are ruining this country - the commercials with the big waving flags show these people sneaking over the borders to vote!!&nbsp; Those flag waving commercials have me thinking we should send them all back where they came from!&nbsp; Voting fraud will be avoided now with our new voting ID&rsquo;s that states are trying to pass.&nbsp; Al Gore should have been president for making up the internet - that&rsquo;s the bottom line!&nbsp; Now he&rsquo;s into global warming.&nbsp; Who knows? Maybe Bush won by magic. Politics is one of those magical subjects where ANYTHING can happen - IN FACT, CORPORATIONS HAVE BEEN GIVEN THE SAME RIGHTS AS PEOPLE!!!&nbsp; Magical, indeed!&nbsp; I'll let a random individual be the first to listen to my creations.&nbsp; THE PERFECT WAY TO GIVE EACH AND EVERY INDIVIDUAL A CHANCE - or corporation - my first attempt ever at using a smiley - I never used a smiley cause i always thought those things were too gay!&nbsp; (due to the happy smile.&nbsp; I wasn't suggesting they are homosexuals, although the Supreme Court has set a precedence with the ruling allowing corporations their first amendment rights, I guess that would seem to suggest that smileys should be allowed to be considered homosexual if they choose to go down that road... what was I talking about before those smileys chose to live lives of sin, yet have their equality???&nbsp; OH YEAH, FIRST COME FIRST SERVED, A lottery to see who gets the very first taste of my aural expressions - a very democratic process that shows my support for this country and our beliefs...&nbsp; SO, LET'S DO THIS - I will submit a post on the music site requesting reviews for my songs - and let the public go at it - DEMOCRATIC-STYLE! &nbsp;</p><p class="paragraph_style_2">&nbsp;</p><p class="paragraph_style_2">3 songs can be uploaded for free - so I register and upload.&nbsp; I make my request for review in the forum, now it's just a matter of time. &nbsp; I take a break, do some chores, get a little work out in, grab a snack, then about 15 minutes later I check for all of the replies and NOTHING!!&nbsp; Why am I being ignored.&nbsp; I figured that I was probably being hazed for being the new guy?&nbsp; GOOD ONE!!!&nbsp; After 30 minutes - STILL no reviews!&nbsp; I'm starting to think that the site is some "locals only" site - I'm being shunned.&nbsp; I am using the most fair and democratic approach and these local yokels want to keep all of the action to themselves.&nbsp; Maybe one of them will come through - I'll have to work a double shift on my patience today - I can do amazing things in the mind-over-matter department.&nbsp; By one full hour, STILL NO FANS!!!&nbsp; THAT'S IT!!!&nbsp; I've&nbsp; had enough of this site's mental abuse.&nbsp; Instead of telling them off though, I decided I'd be the grown up, and since I can't smack them each in their heads to get them moving forward on this case, I think I need to set an example to help prod them along.&nbsp; Maybe one of them will read my homemade comment and want to get in on some of that ground-level action - PLUS, I don't think getting kicked out of ANOTHER forum for inappropriate language will solve anything and I didn't want to move on after investing so much time already at the site, although the victims have a rough time dealing with their lives after such an assault on their mortal mind... I'll be the bigger man and lead by example, so I gave myself a nice review of what I tried to accomplish.&nbsp; I waited and still nothing.&nbsp; About 20 minutes later, I lobbed in my next verbal smoke bomb to get some feedback!&nbsp; Nothing.&nbsp; Then the third V.B. (I sometimes like to use abbreviations to save time with these blogs)&nbsp; STILL NOTHING.&nbsp; I give up... I'll figure out a new plan after I get a good night's sleep. &nbsp; Next day there's a HUGE BOOM in the email right after the &ldquo;SALES ON CANADIAN VIAGRA&rdquo; email that sounded like a pretty tempting deal!!!!&nbsp; THERE WAS FINALLY A REVIEW!!!&nbsp; Smoked out... just liked planned!</p><p class="paragraph_style_2">&nbsp;</p><p class="paragraph_style_2">I was so relieved to finally get to my first comment...&nbsp; "WE DON'T COMMENT ON OUR OWN TRACKS AT THIS SITE, PLEASE STOP."</p><p class="paragraph_style_2">&nbsp;</p><p class="paragraph_style_2">Okay, the pressure is finally off on getting that first comment!!&nbsp; WHEW!!! Now I wonder what they thought of my music. &nbsp; I asked again.&nbsp; THEN I GOT MY FIRST REAL RESPONSE!!!</p><p class="paragraph_style_2">&nbsp;</p><p class="paragraph_style_2">"This doesn't have the right structure, sound, levels, it sounds bad."&nbsp; The first thing I thought is that I was experiencing the same exact feeling as if I had jumped into an unfamiliar shower.&nbsp; I get in thinking it will be the right temperature and find out how shockingly cold the water feels -(thanks for your comments friends and family!)&nbsp; Then try to make a spontaneous, calculated adjustment to the knobs, which always seems like way too much time fumbling around for the proper knob. I turn the knobs only to scald myself the very next second, feeling the same intense shock, but on the opposite end of the pain spectrum. (Thanks for your review music site locals!) I know no person or thing could logically be blamed - after all, it's my personal thing to deal with.&nbsp; I still end up thinking&nbsp; "OUCH, THAT WAS WAY COLD AND&nbsp; THEN YOU BURNED ME. YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF FUKCERS!!!" &nbsp;</p><p class="paragraph_style_2">&nbsp;</p><p class="paragraph_style_2">Then, a day or so later, SOMEONE COMES THROUGH!!!&nbsp;</p><p class="paragraph_style_2">&nbsp;</p><p class="paragraph_style_2">With both the right combination of hard cold truth mixed with warm understanding of what I was attempting to create AND adding some suggestions since he realized I was an obvious beginner, I GOT EXACTLY WHAT I WAS HOPING FOR!!!!!&nbsp; My very next upload sounded SO MUCH better and I felt good about what I was doing and comfortable with where I was considering my experience.&nbsp; I didn't know what I needed at the time, but when I got it everything changed for me.&nbsp; I know it can't happen every time, but I now TRY to post comments in that same spirit that fixed me for that moment in time.&nbsp; The more complex and difficult we seem to be behaving or feeling seems to be fixed when it feels like somebody gets your intentions, needs, desires, whatever... MAGIC!!!&nbsp; It shouldn't be expected - when it happens, it is a privilege.&nbsp; Thanks to all of you who do this.&nbsp; It doesn't even matter if I'm not involved - I see it going on and I feel the sense of community.&nbsp; You complete me.&nbsp; Okay, that was uncalled for - I admit it.&nbsp;&nbsp; But I will say that music completes me.&nbsp; I make it for myself - FIRST!&nbsp;&nbsp; And if somebody happens to like a song, that&rsquo;s also a great feeling.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p><p class="paragraph_style_2">&nbsp;</p><p class="paragraph_style_2">I'm changing my statement about government being a magical place where anything can happen to MUSIC being such a magical place where anything can happen.&nbsp; That leaves government with no convenient, optimistic explanation - as if it makes no sense at all... hmm, who would have guessed that?</p>