@the-erik-jurado-experience
Category: B A D A S S
<p><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;"><em>load up on guns and kill your friends, <br />it's fun to lose and pretend, <br />be over-bored and self-assured, <br />oh no, i know a dirty word... <br />hello, hello, hello, how low... <br /><br /></em>-Kurt Cobain</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium; font-family: helvetica;"> </span></p><h1><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: x-large;"><strong style="font-size: medium;">GOD, GUNS, AND GOVERNMENT</strong></span></h1><p><span style="font-size: xx-large; font-family: helvetica;"><strong style="font-size: medium;"> </strong></span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium; font-family: helvetica;">My daughter and her boyfriend have been posting 2nd amendment issues on Facebook for a few weeks now, and she just asked me if I believe in the 2nd amendment. I don't participate with the 2nd amendment. Let me explain:</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium; font-family: helvetica;"><strong><em>THE FIRST ISSUE I HAVE BEFORE</em></strong> thinking too deeply about the 2nd amendment is that I don’t buy into the whole, “Obama administration is coming for your guns” bull shit that the NRA and other such special interest groups put out there as a preemptive strike, due to the fact that mass shootings were happening at an increasing rate. I don’t believe that Obama is like Stalin, or Hitler - but I do believe that he is a typical politician who has been bought and sold by the banking industry. This belief is based on actual actions that have taken place, not preemptive acounts on how things will happen. These conspiracies are boring and they turn people into rednecks - who, by the way, already hate the fact that Obama won a 2nd term. I am not into the idea of a massive plot, which even includes stories such as: Obama allows mass shootings so citizens will start demanding gun control, and then he will come in, looking like a hero, as he confiscates everyone’s weapons. THEN, he starts his ultimate goal of genocide on the people. I am not making this up, people actually believe this. If you don’t believe, here’s a typical redneck link, I’ll wait for you to check it out - read the comments too, feel his wrath at those who disagree: Gun Control is Genocide - documentary by Mike Adams.; See what I mean? So, what I am saying is that these people are not people that I would even want to associate with. They are not right in the head. Conspiracy theories are one thing, violence is a separate issue. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium; font-family: helvetica;"><strong><em>THE SECOND ISSUE I HAVE BEFORE</em></strong> thinking too deeply about the 2nd amendment is that I think violence is boring too. Another group of individuals that I want nothing to do with. And when you add the topic of guns to the violence part, It's as moronic as listening to people talking about smashing each others faces in:. Imagine... </span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium; font-family: helvetica;"><em>“and if subject A walked in and was gonna smash your face in then subject B should be allowed to smash his face in. He should also be allowed to smash it in with any face smasher available, including the new powerful ultimate face smasher 5000 with titanium masher that allows you to mash the face of 42 people in less than a minute, which I need just in case the government has any ideas of taking my face smasher away. This is what the founders of this country wanted and I know they'd approve because I have a 3rd grade understanding about what the founder's struggles actually entailed, I have the god given right to smash someone just for thinking about curbing my use of it. I love the face smasher and it loves me. I love going to face smasher sites and pound my chest along with other supporters of the face smasher. Hopefully they have clever one-liners that rhyme or that make anti-face-smashers look stupid, then I can share them on my Facebook page so others will know my position on face smashing and it will show everyone how dedicated I am to this country and the smashing of faces. You can have my face smasher when you pry my dead cold face off of your face smasher. I hate anti-face smashers. They are stupid. “</em></span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;">... does this sound ridiculous to you? That's how I hear the whole argument about guns. I don't care how many guns and bullets you need to feel secure living on this planet, your security means shit to me and your fear of being oppressed is a moronic comedy to me. Go ahead and buy whatever weapons and protection you think you need to prove how badass you are, from here it looks like fear and paranoia. Try facing the world like a real man - unarmed and fearless. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium; font-family: helvetica;"><strong><em>SO, TO ANSWER MY DAUGHTER’S QUESTION...</em></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium; font-family: helvetica;">I am against the 2nd amendment with as much energy as I am for the 2nd amendment. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium; font-family: helvetica;">You have a right to load up on guns right now, go ahead. I’d prefer thinking about something else - which I will immediately do after I post this... BELIEVE ME! All I can say to anyone that entertains the idea about owning guns and ammo, I hope you shoot yourself in the face before you shoot up any innocent bystanders, but I have no say in that either. There are far too many other problems I have to deal with, I don’t have time to investigate every possible “morons gone wild” scenario. I guess I’ll watch it when it makes the news. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium; font-family: helvetica;">But now, I’m gonna go hunt me down an ice cream cone with my bare hands here in South Los Angeles - if I don't make it back alive, I’ll see you on the other side. CATCH YA LATER!</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium; font-family: helvetica;"><em>Sincerely,</em></span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium; font-family: helvetica;">Erik</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium; font-family: helvetica;"><em>If I fucked up any spelling, grammar or included any incomplete thoughts - shoot me! HAHAHA!</em></span></p>
<p>Yeah, everyone can see exactly who I am talking about. Your blog entry that pushes your latest release and allows the public to be aware that you make music shows your insecurity and your disregard of others at this site. Do you know who else has new releases? Did you ever wonder about that? All of the people who have recently uploaded tracks to the site! Makes sense? But your stuff is more important. That's right, your ego needs nourishment. Forget doing it the long boring way of actually paying attention to others' work, because everyone here at this site is here to get the chance to learn of your new release through your blog post, rather than get in line with the other musicians here who have also posted new releases. Here's a thought musical genius - try showing that you are awesome enough to take the first step of deserving someone on this site to listen to your music by showing the musicians who have also uploaded their new tracks, that you are interested in finding out about what they are up to. When I see a blog post about a musician telling a story, or having something other than music on their mind - very interesting. A chance to find out something a little deeper than the fact that you can play instruments and piece ideas together to make a nice little package of thoughts and ideas that we call songs. I am in no way diminishing what it takes to perform this awesome feat - if you think I am saying this to bash musicians you still don't get it. Almost everyone here makes music, we know that by the fact that they have music on their pages. Blog entries show others a different side to the musicians that you don't get to really know about within a song. Hey, look! A musician on this site has a new show - awesome! Hey this guy is having a rough time, that's a shame. WOW! What a great comeback story! What a great diverse community!</p><p> </p><p>BUT, NO. THose stories get pushed to the back because you and DJ Scratch-N-Sniff put out some new dope tunes that everyone has to hear or you are selling your new release at whogivesafuck.com. Who fucking cares? Your ego is the reason I don't participate here much any more. People like you who think we're all here to discover you rather than we should all take the time to discover what each other is up to and what we are about. First you don't take the time to consider everyone else does the same thing you do - make music and wonder what people think about it. Now you are pasting your fucking ads all over our thoughts and ideas that we share to get noticed. Next thing will be a non-stop barrage of everyone trying to push their stuff and using all of our email addresses to spam us like they do at a couple of the other sites that your kind has already ruined. </p><p> </p><p>WAKE UP! GET A FUCKING CLUE! USE YOUR IMAGINATION! If you want someone to listen tell them a story - then relate it to your music. NOTHING AT ALL wrong with that. But when I see your "NEW BLOG ENTRY" and it says you have a new release, I see you as the type of dumb ass that gives musicians a bad name and I don't even want to be associated with you.</p><p> </p><p>Nah, I'm kidding! I just finished a song that I worked long and hard on, it's called, "Find My Way Back Home." It is about the idea of myself becoming homeless and how I would still be myself yet my dreams would be to recapture what I have now. If I don't appreciate what I have now, then I deserve to lose it, because there are millions and millions of people who have it pretty bad. It took me a couple of years to learn how to play all 3 acoustic guitars to do their thing in the song, but then again, I am going on my 3rd year as trying to make music.</p><p> </p><p>I guess this isn't so much of a rant as it is a lesson on how to use your imagination to get a little attention. Oh I can see my phone is ringing now - some newly rehabilitated person probably just finished reading this and wants to thank me for setting them straight - oh there's the other line too! Someone's now knocking at my door! There's that attention that I was talking about. I gotta go! A THIRD LINE RINGING NOW? DAMN! CAN'T I GET A LITTLE PEACE???? LMAO!!<br /><br />By the way, do what you want - I could give a flying fuçk. This is an easy-going site, nobody will ban you for pushing your music. But, I'm pretty confident that I'm not the only one who sees your blog and thinks to themselves, "WHAT AN A$$HOLE THIS GUY IS!" or "WHAT BUNCH OF DOUCHEBAGS!" You make yourself look bad. Show a little imagination.</p><p> </p><p>• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •</p><p> </p><p>That was written yesterday. </p><p>I'm not an angry person. I do however feel a need to speak up for those who are more passive than I am, and I see this as an abuse of the community (how dramatic, huh? LMAO!) When so many people follow the rules and you have these handful of people who circumvent the unspoken rules of protocol, it is a form of cheating. People who don't like confrontation end up figuring, "What's the use?" and eventually get tired of the integrity of the site being compromised. I could care less whether it continues or not. I have already paid for my year here. I stopped coming here a while back when I was participating my ass off only to be ignored. (I could understand people having a lot to do and not having the time to return the gesture of commenting, but come on - if you read your message, click reply and say, "Thank You." or some acknowledgement that you received your message.) I stopped participating so much over here because the lack of regard. There are some things at this site that have me not totally abandon it altogether. One of those things is the sites blogs. Some of these blogs are really cool because you really get to know more about the writers (yeah, I complain to much - you got me! LMAO!) But one day, I was reading as many blogs as I could, and enjoying the hell out of them. It was kind of like an archaeology project - digging up the past. But with the many, many pages and all of the advertising blogs to sift through I eventually gave up. (My pages take about 10 seconds to load and it was becoming an annoying task to sift through all the bs.) When I came to the site yesterday to see who has posted anything of interest, I saw more of these advertisements. It hit me that I might have to forget about even bothering with this place. Then I thought of Jim. It's people like him that I would miss the most. I coupled that with the fact that he had mentioned that he liked a couple of my blogs, so I figured I'd blog this up for Jim! (THAT DOESN'T SOUND RIGHT! BUT SOME REASON I AM LAUGHING!! I THINK I'LL KEEP IT IN! LMAO!) So I figured that the fact that the lack of regard runs deep here I will be the jerk to bring up the things that annoy me and keep me away.<br /><br />I am not putting down those who are managing the site - I see myself as trying to expose the areas that could use a change, because I'd really like to want to be a regular here. I see there has been a lot of work put into improving the site. And I understand nobody wants to be accused of denying someone free speech, but these blogs aren't free speech - they are free advertisements.</p><p>At another music site I visit, there are about 10 people over there whose music I just love, and jump all over as soon as I see they upload a new tune. What makes it great is that when I upload a new tune, they are right there giving me their opinions and comments. I always ask for constructive criticism and they are not shy about giving it. I don't believe that it is a coincidence that we all happened to join the right site at the right time and it can't happen naturally at any site, I think it may have to do with the musicians there calling people out on their BS. Maybe that does go on here - I admit I am not a regular and don't know shit about this site. But the few things that I do like about this site I am slowly losing patience in. No, not you Jim - you're cool! LMAO!<br /><br /></p>
<p><span>LMAO!!! CHECK THIS OUT:</span></p><p> </p><p><span><a href="http://tyrannyoftradition.com/2012/02/10/rick-santorum-declares-war-on-heavy-metal/">http://tyrannyoftradition.com/2012/02/10/rick-santorum-declares-war-on-heavy-metal/</a> </span></p><p> </p><p><span>OR NOT, the link states:<br /> </span></p><p>• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •</p><p><span>Rick Santorum has been on the offensive lately, but his target has not been Republican frontrunner Mitt Romney or even President Barack Obama. For the past week, Santorum has been using his campaign to take aim at an issue he feels to be the single most dangerous force in America today: Satanism in heavy metal. “If you listen to the radio today, many of these brand new, so-called heavy metal music bands like BLACK SABBATH, VENOM, WASP and IRON MAIDEN use satanic imagery to corrupt the minds of young people,” announced Santorum at a 10,000 dollar a plate sock-hop in Valdosta, Georgia on Thursday.</span></p><p>• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •</p><p><span>They are still telling kids that they don't know a thing about music! Yeah, OUR mind is SO corrupt - when he's the one charging $10,000 for one dinner while so many Americans are having a very difficult time? It's no wonder people get so frustrated and upset. I would use a satanic image, and I would have Santorum (or SATonrum - said as SATAN-RUM) as the master of ceremonies. It's called ART you dumbass! But, if it doesn’t further the goals of the conservative right, it needs to be abolished - so much for defending the constitution. By the way - the bands he names are from the 70’s and 80’s! He must be digging down deep in his desperation bag of tricks to get people to drop their guard and vote for a person who is out to make the very rich even richer in exchange for their vote because of a single issue. I wish there was a hell, because I guarantee that this hypocrite would be there. I even imagine them playing some type of Musak for them of these same bands just so he’ll be forced to understand why this music had been created in the first place. Sorry Dick (that’s a typo - I swear!) but the masses won’t just smile and take what people like you are doing, and we will use images that offend you and say things about you you don’t like - if you don’t like it you can go to hell. All your friends will be there anyways.</span></p>
<p class="paragraph_style_2"><em><strong>I found a wad of cash on Saturday! </strong></em></p><p class="paragraph_style_2"><em>$466.50 to be exact.</em> </p><p class="paragraph_style_2">I was spending the day with my niece's 4 year old son and 3 year old daughter when we decided we would go out and get something for lunch, as well as take care of a couple of errands. So, first stop was to a liquor store so I could get some cash out of the ATM. I have been avoiding ATM's lately because I hate allowing banks to be rewarded for me needing access to my money, but considering I had the 2 little ones with me, I decided to go for the convenience and ease of walking in - getting cash - walking out. We walk in, and the kids immediately begin grabbing cookies - "I WANT THIS!" and candies - "I WANT CANDY!" So I am stuck being the bad guy again - "NO, we are going to go out for lunch, you don't eat cookies and candy right before lunch." Now they begin telling me, "You're mean" which I always reply, "Yes, I am." So just as quick as the time it takes me to agree with them, one kid picks up some gum ,"How about gum, unko?" while the other runs over and grabs a ring pop, "How about a ring pop?" I begin counting from 5 backwards, and they put the items down immediately and run over to where I am - I have a way with numbers! So I am pushing buttons as fast as I can while at the same time trying to corral 2 bundles of energy running around grabbing anything wrapped in shiny decorative packaging. I get out my $40 and grab their hands and we proceed to walk out of the store. We were inside no longer than 3 minutes, and as we are walking out there is now something on the floor, right in the pathway out the door, so I let go of both kids' hands and reach down to pick up a wallet that must have just fallen out, becauseI noticed two customers in the store on the way in, before I began to focus on the kids..</p><p class="paragraph_style_2"> </p><p class="paragraph_style_2">My first reaction was a strange one. "I FOUND A WALLET!" I shouted as I held it high to show everyone in the store. This store is pretty typical in my neighborhood. I live in South Los Angeles, so that means this store had a korean cashier behind bullet proof glass and black customers buying lotto, blunts, a 40 oz, and hot dog - the male customers, that is. WHAT? Stereotype? Maybe. But I would bet anyone $10,000 dollars (That Mitt Romney is such a buttnugget!) that if you went into any liquor store or convenience store in my neighborhood - or any surrounding neighborhoods - that AT LEAST 2 korean cashiers - AND the first black guy that goes in will most likely purchase either a 40 oz. bottle of malt liquor, a blunt, a lotto ticket, or an item cooked within the store. That's just how it is - I LIVE HERE AND SEE IT EVERYDAY - THAT'S FINE BY ME. There was a black guy walking out right behind me with his bag of items, and he confidently responds, "That's my girl's wallet, she musta dropped it when she went back to the car, so let me take it to her" and he had his hand out grabbing toward the wallet. Since I had the wallet, I figured I should do what I would expect someone to do to me - have them take an easy quiz by asking what her name is. I opened up the wallet and took out the I.D. and asked if his girl was a 6 foot tall dude. Without hesitation - the act was dropped immediately - "Nah man, it looks like god is smiling on you - it's your lucky day, he wants you to get yo kids something nice and enjoy." He had a huge grin and looked genuinely happy for me. I ignore the guy's statement, since I am only seconds behind finding out who owns it. When I looked at the ID, I couldn't help but notice a wad of cash. There were 2 - $100 bills and a bunch of $20's. Now that I thought about it, I recalled only about a minute earlier, I heard him explaining how he had cashed something there before, he wanted the guy to think back and let him do it again. I figured he had his ID here and the cashier STILL wouldn't cash his check for him - I really felt bad for the guy now, so I figured that he must have just left. So I grab the kids' hands once again and they are both holding Slim Jims - pieces of dried meat product soaked in chemicals - I toss the Slim Jims randomly on the shelf, re-grab the hands and rush to see if I can catch this 6 foot tall man that seemed to be having a pretty shitty day as far as I could tell. He wasn't anywhere around. So I think, that maybe he'll come back to the liquor store and ask the folks there, so maybe I'll leave them with the responsibility. I then remember buying the boy a toy at this store a year earlier. When I got home with it, I opened the package and the toy was busted. It was only about $2, so it wasn't worth going back at that moment. A couple of days later, I take it back and ask for a trade-in for one that works. I get looked up and down by the cashier as though I am pulling some scam on him, until he finally says to go ahead and get a new one, and maybe I shouldn't buy toys there any more. PLUS he was already hassling the guy about cashing his check because he really didn't want to cash it. I thought to myself as I looked into the bullet proofed cashiers, FUKC THESE GUYS - I'LL TAKE CARE OF THIS MYSELF! </p><p class="paragraph_style_2"> </p><p class="paragraph_style_2">I'll drop it off at his house - make his day! I'm sure some people are wondering why I'm making such a big deal out of something so easy to deal with, the whole thing is that it would have been easy to deal with if the guy was around, but this was beginning to turn into a mini-task that I was feeling responsible about. I am not religious, I am not holier than thou or thee or however else someone might want to categorize my desire to get the man back in possession of what is rightfully his - it's just what I would want done for me should the tables be turned. Unfortunately for this guy, I had 2 hungry kids in the car who were cranky and wanted food right then. I would never be able to get away with dropping by the address on the I.D. to drop off his wallet - IF he still lived there. Point well taken. I'll get some tacos from the taco truck, we'll go home, and while we gobble the tacos I'll google the unfortunate sob and see if there is a phone number, so I can leave a message to let him know where to pick up his wallet - he could drive over to me - why should I go out of my way. I look him up and notice a facebook page that has a person that lives in the same city that looks exactly the same - only with a different address and with no phone number listed. WHY DOES THIS GUY HAVE HIS ADDRESS LISTED BUT NO PHONE LISTED OR EMAIL??? WHO THE HELL PUTS DOWN THEIR ADDRESS AND NO PHONE NUMBER??? Now I have 2 addresses for the guy - I decide to investigate this person a little more, because time has a way of allowing opposing arguments to take root inside a person's head. </p><p class="paragraph_style_2"> </p><p class="paragraph_style_2">I start to pry - I look at his facebook wall to see what kind of posts he makes. ONLY ONE POST. AND IT WAS DIRTY! Either that or he can't spell and the girl he posted to should expect him to "arrive" all over her. But, it could just be that times have changed and girls today like being told dirty things. Plus, that still doesn't make a difference - what's his is his. I start clicking his photos to see if I can tell whether he deserves his cash back. WHAT WAS THAT??? It's HIS wallet - HIS cash, SHUT UP AND DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT! EVEN IF HE IS A SCUMBAG THAT DOESN'T DESERVE THAT MONEY? I DO DESERVE IT!!! I DON'T THINK THIS WAY!!! Okay, what's going on here? GOD IS SMILING ON YOU - IT'S YO LUCKY DAY, HE WANTS YOU TO GET YO KIDS SOMETHING NICE AND ENJOY - HEY, I know who that came from, that's from the guy in the store! But where did those other thought just come from? I didn't tell anyone about this. Why am I thinking this way, I'm not the type of person that keeps something that is not mine. STOP thinking - START clicking!</p><p class="paragraph_style_2"> </p><p class="paragraph_style_2">First picture - tattoos all over- no shirt on. Next pic - picture of tats from a different angle - words that I can't quite see. Next pict - the same thing different angle. About 25 picture taken from arms length with no shirt on, WHAT A BUTTNUGGET!!! Why did I think that? I'm probably just trying to keep the money for myself. NO, I think this guy really is a buttnugget. Well, not an actual nugget on a butt, but a figural one - like Mitt Romney. Okay, I can't find out anything else about the guy on the internet. I'll look through the contents of his wallet. I didn't want to, but now here I am doing it anyways. FIRST, I pull out the cash and count - one, two, three, four hundred, and twenty, forty, sixty, five, $466 - plus 2 quarters. Hey some check stubs and receipts. This guy makes a nice chunk of change - PLUS he's been working a lot of overtime for time and a half - I didn't know companies pay that still - good for him! HEY, I have one of these - an Electronic Benefit Card from the state. I have been getting assistance for taking care of my 2 nieces and the little bit of money I get is gone immediately. There are a couple of receipts in here from the liquor store that state "food stamps - $520, change $480." He gets a check complete with many hours working time and a half PLUS the state gives him food stamps??? THEN, he cashes in the food stamps at the shady liquor store - THAT'S what he was talking the cashier into doing for him - NOT because he didn't accept the guy's ID, but because it was illegal... that's fraud! OH, SHUT UP! Like I've never filled out an unemployment form and claimed that I looked for work each day when there were a few days that I didn't - typical hypocrite trying to keep the money so I can get a bass. HUH? Why a bass? I have a bass. BUT I DON'T HAVE A GOOD BASS, I NEED A GOOD BASS. NO I DON'T "NEED" A BASS!</p><p class="paragraph_style_2"> </p><p class="paragraph_style_2">I noticed it was some food stamp scam where he had food stamps and cashed them in NOT FOR FOOD FOR A HUNGRY FAMILY OR ANYTHING, BUT FOR STRAIGHT UP CASH. I have been unemployed for about a year and a half and was proud to have not even considered keeping the cash, but the more I find out the more I can't help but to let these thoughts begin to take root. Here I am with hungry kids telling the kids not to talk bad out in public, especially when they go on about their "farks," and this guy is leaving x rated comments on a public site for all to see. No, farks has nothing to do with ratting out farmers (farm + nark) - TRUST ME - when I first heard the term I searched the whole inside and outside of the house for any illegal substances growing - we already had one raid over the past couple of years, I try to be on the level because I would not last one minute snuggling with a man locked in a room... I already explained in an earlier blog that I'm NOT homophobic, so don't even go there! And, from that earlier blog I expect you know the context and how to apply that last statement. HOW THE HELL DID I GET OVER HERE???? WHERE WAS I??? Don't go there - homophobia - snuggling with large men (STILL, YUCK!!!) - staying legal - raids - farming - narks - farks - the kids kept talking about their farks in the car and then they started blaming me and laughing that "unko is doing farks." I WAS NOT FARTING! That didn't stop the laughter though, so I told them, ALL RIGHT - ZIP IT!!!! and explained to them that some people wouldn't like to hear them talk about farts, and if they can't talk about anything nice then stay zipped. I didn't hear from them until I started looking for the dude. The kids passed out for a nap while I packaged the wallet, complete with I.D. card, social security card, receipts, paycheck stub, and EBT card and put it in an envelope with postage and no return address. So, YES, I mailed the wallet back to him with most of the contents in tact. So you noticed that, huh? Well, if you read this far then you are obviously wiser than most. You really are the reason that I type these up. I like a person that is well... huh? Quit wasting your time and explain what happened to the rest of the contents? SEE! I consider myself pretty smart - in a street-wise sort of way - and think I can trick you but you call me right out - OKAY!!! OKAY!!! I GET IT!!!! I didn't mail the money. But, I didn't spend it either. It is rolled up and sitting on a table in my room. I have spent the weekend weighing out the pros and cons about what to do about it and I can't even think about touching it until it is settled. I don't know why I felt I couldn't just blindly mail the cash also - I mailed the rest of the contents feeling just fine about it reaching some old residence or something. Usually, my blogs are just a way for me to release what's in my head so I can get to sleep, but this time I think I could use a little feedback - Plus I am very tired right now - so if there are incomplete thoughts, sentences or words I will fix them tomorrow or something. Anyways, what would you do?</p><p class="paragraph_style_2">• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •</p><p class="paragraph_style_2">CONTINUED... </p><p class="paragraph_style_2">• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •</p><p><strong><em>THE LATEST:</em></strong></p><p> </p><p>I got a couple of replies to the first posting of my dilema - thanks guys! That was cool of you to give your thoughts and advice. I tried not to think of my financial situation, but really, how much of my time, gas, stamps am I supposed to go through, just to get this back to him. I KNOW! THERE’D STILL BE $450 LEFT!!!! WAIT! That's not where I was taking this. Let me tell you what I found out last night. I fell asleep for a couple of hours and then woke up again because I felt that money hanging over me still. So, I made up a new email account - since our internet provider allows 10 email accounts. I always wondered why they allowed so many, but with this new dilema that has come my way, I am beginning to understand why. I made a new account so I can contact the guy and see if he is the one who lost his wallet with all of that money, and unless he acts like a jerk, I plan to return the cash to him. I made up a name and went to his Facebook page and sent him a message asking if he lost anything over the weekend. He has since been online, but ignored my question. Maybe the guy is new on there and doesn’t know all of the features on Facebook. But then again, he has over 1,000 friends! I only have 200 friends, and most of them are family - my dad’s side of the family is mexican, in case you were wondering about how that could be possible - makes sense now, huh? I know how to message with one fifth the amount of friends, hmmm... I guess I’m a pretty smart person. I did want to go by his house and knock on the door and see if he would be there, but my girlfriend laid down the rules - I can’t go there, he can’t come over to our house, and when we find out, we send him a money order so he would need an I.D. to cash it in. That totally messed up what I had planned. She thinks that he is in a gang because of all the tattos on his chest, and back, and side, and leg, and neck... she thinks he’ll kick my ass or something. I don’t get her at all. I am not worried one bit about that, I’m no pushover. I could do some damage if it came down to a brawl. Why would there be a brawl when I’m giving a guy his cash that he lost? She was pretty serious too. I woke up today and said that I give up. If he didn’t reply by the end of today, I’m finished thinking about it. I don’t think I feel guilty any more about having it either, because I really did try to unite the person with their entire contents, but there is something about making sure that it goes to the right person. If someone else uses the I.D, social security card, or EBT card, there is a chance that can be traced back to the person using it, but cash is different. I would only be comfortable if I knew it was the right person and I could give it to them and see the smile on the dude’s face. How could I not want to at least experience that gratitude after all of this? That was pretty much what I wanted from the beginning - that surprised look and huge grin to make me feel like I made someone’s day. But that’s been taken away, PLUS, I’m being ignored by Mr. Popularity, and I’m getting tired of this whole thing - how long am I supposed to babysit this money? It’s 11:48 PM, and still no reply - 12 minutes until this thing is over. Then I will think about what should be done with the money. Until then, Thanks for helping me through this!</p>
<p><span>June 1996, my grandparents, my parents, my girlfriend and I spent a weekend in Laughlin. The guys spent one evening at a pay-per-view boxing event featuring Oscar De La Hoya against Julio Cesar Chavez. We had a fun time - it was the first time that I can think of as an adult spending time alone with my father and grandfather. My grandparents wanted to go to bed earlier than the rest of us (YEAH, BABY!) so my grandpa thought we should meet for breakfast at the hotel's all-you-can-eat restaurant before returning home in the morning. That sounded like a great plan at the time, but when the morning came, I just wanted to sleep. So my girlfriend, Laura went to meet everyone without me. When she returned from breakfast she told me that my grandpa was asking about me. I asked her what she meant – she didn't say anything specific yet she made a point to mention it as though he were very disappointed. Then she told me that he asked what time I went to bed, asked how many beers I drank the night before, asked if I was feeling alright, and even where and what I would eat before taking that long trip home. I was really stunned that he wondered so many things about myself - I don't even wonder half of that about myself - AND I'M AS SELF-CENTERED AS A PERSON CAN GET! According to Laura, that is. I figured that maybe I should - he didn't have to worry about me, I rarely ate breakfast anyways and I'd be fine. I dropped it from my mind at that point. </span></p><p> </p><p><span>We packed up and went to the lobby. My grandpa walked up to me and the first thing that he did was inform me that I missed breakfast. I assured him that I understood and i'd be fine for the next couple of hours, since it would be at least 2 hours before I would have any chance to eat. I'll never forget the way he looked at me and smiled, "Just let me know when you get hungry," he said with assurance. We then walked to the car, everyone piled in, and I landed next to my grandpa for the long drive home. My grandpa would smile at me every so often and I knew each time he couldn't wait until I got hungry so he could obviously spring his surprise on me - I wasn't used to seeing my grandpa behave so eager. Then, about half and hour before we were near anyplace that sold food, my grandpa asked rather than just smiled. "You hungry yet there, Pal?" This time I gave in - I couldn't ruin his opportunity to show me that he was thinking of me, plus the thought of bacon, or perhaps a muffin or danish was beginning to sound like a great idea.… "Yeah, I am pretty hungry now." I smile back at him this time, rather than the quizzical replies that he had been receiving from me since our newly developed bond was created. I then realized I shouldn't be such a cynical person. The thought of my grandpa worrying and caring about me so much that he even brought a stash of treats so that I wouldn't be hungry - now that's a heart-warming moment. As I sat there awaiting his presentation, I noticed his smile was even bigger than mine – in fact – it was HUGE! At that moment, I felt as though I must have won the lottery or something - YEAH, I'M READY FOR YOUR GIFT, LAY IT ON ME. Then came his offering: "We had eggs, and there was bacon- cooked just right - barely any fat on it… same with the sausage… I can still hear it sizzling on the plate. Mmmmm.... Oh, and all of those muffins,… orange juice - freshly squeezed… we were in heaven in there - tell him about the omelette bar Cheryl... HIS SMILE WAS SO SLY!!!</span></p><p><span> THAT WAS HILARIOUS!!! Everyone was laughing at me - EVEN ME! I don't recall the rest of the ride home - except maybe a glimse and a smile from each person every once in a while as they thought about the look on my face as I realized I had been set-up.</span></p><p> </p><p><span>THINKING BACK AT THIS MOMENT...</span></p><p> </p><p><span>Those smiles he was giving me to help sell the concern, they seemed so genuine - but how could they be??? I was tricked. Was he some kind of great actor? When I think back at those smiles now - I know he wasn't acting at all. Every one of them was a truly genuine smile. The smiles that pass as innocence and wholesomeness - two traits that I believe he is entitled to claim. Without these two characteristics, he wouldn't be able to sell such an act of deception. The other half of ingredients that you'd need is to be a very clever person with patience and true thoughtfulness - that's the only way this could have been pulled off. That was only one of many memories that he had provided me during his unobtrusive reign as head of the family. My grandpa has been a huge influence in my life. We never exchanged many words, but I always felt safe around him and he always brought a smile to my face. Thinking back to that day is a much richer gift than if he did pull out hands full of bacon, sausage, and muffins...</span></p><p> </p><p><span>THE END</span></p><p><span><br /></span></p><p>Erik Jurado</p>
<p>I made a lyric page for my inner cover for my wanna-be cd and thought I'd post it on my blog. I figured someone might be interested in something they see or think it was a cool idea and try it for their tunes. I was mainly just bored.</p><p>• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •</p><p>LYRICS by THE ERIK JURADO EXPERIENCE:</p><p><span><strong>RIDE ON</strong></span> take your time and feel the vibe get into the rhythm if you open your mind open it wide i'll take you to the moon rules don't apply so dare to defy and take it to the limit the longer you ride the deeper inside you'll get into the tune a journey for freedom of thought is good reason to light up this candle c'mon get up and go exercise imagination feeling spacetime sensation the best things in life aren't really ever that complicated ride on we'll ride on wanna see what's at the edge of forever listen for the gravitational pull transmit the pictures ride on i'll do my best to lead you where your mind senses its freedom you may decide to take your own ride choose any place or reason and a true open mind won't be predefined by dogmatic baggage experience heavenly blissful peace or even hell if you like to scream a journey for freedom of thought is good reason to be on your way if you wanna get up and goexercise imagination feeling spacetime sensation the best things in life aren't really ever that complicated ride on just ride on are you ready for your trip through forever i'll listen for your sound waves i wanna hear what else is out there ride on i'll do my best to read the signals from your voyages of freedom take some time feel the vibe get into the rhythm i see you've opened your mind opened it wide how did you like neptune rules don't apply we dare to defy and take it to the limit the longer we ride the deeper inside we get into the tune a journey for freedom of thought is good reason be out on our way so let's get up and go exercise imagination feeling spacetime sensation the best things in life aren't really ever that complicated ride on we ride on ever wonder why we trip through forever maybe cause we realize that we don't have all the answers ride on i'll do my best and keep on riding to experience new paths of freedom <span><strong>BEE</strong></span> she doesn't need to believe in silly dreams like the teens she knows they turn to screams she's had it rough had enough i don't suggest you test her cause she'll call your bluff she doesn't ask for much she's always filling in time and just the thought of her touch i feel my temperature climb that's my girl that's my girl that's my world can't wait to see her tonight tonight i've seen her glow at a show the only way to describe it is i feel her feel the vibe that's how i know yeah i know the only girl around that likes it fast and likes it slow she never needed a man don't even need me my only hope to make it right is leave her bee that's my girl that's my girl she's my world she's coming home right now you better believe she'll be speaking her mind she listens to all my shit when i need to unwind that's my girl that's my babe she's my world she's on her way right now right now can't wait to see her tonight tonight she's seen me weak knows my flaws she's seen me snap and break the laws but when i needed an inch she was there with a mile nothing seems to matter once i see her smile that's my girl that's my babe she's my world she's coming in right now that's my girl that's my babe that's my bee<span> <strong>I DON'T KNOW AND I DON'T CARE</strong></span> instrumental <span><strong>KEEP ON RAINING</strong></span> cancel all of my plans for the day the wind blows cold clouds are so gray i feel the rain is on the way i hope it's here to stay i love a rainy day wash today down the drain rain keep on raining rain i love the rain keep on coming down all day oh yeah i hope it keeps on raining wash the day down the drain hear the tapping on my window pane sound is comforting easing my brain getting out of my bed such a strain instead i think i'll remain i love a rainy day wash all the stains away rain keep on raining rain i love the rain keep on coming down all day oh yeah i hope it keeps on raining until the stains wash away <span><strong>CAPABILITIES BEYOND CONTROL</strong></span> live for next life not me once tried thought twice couldn’t leap time is right now for me free minds think twice not sheep true nature andan open mind all answers within reach unless the signal weakens by the static that they preach question all theories truth is easily identified research and reason superstitions subside takes time takes trial makes right soon find not blind renews sight make peace with fire and burn bright own mind roam time so hone tight we each have capabilities connects us each within our souls each universal spirit dreams of meaning freedom and a superseding sense of control question all theory truth has no reason to hide research and reason all you need for the ride on a trip within the mind beyond the patterns and designs stare so deep and fall inside there's a light within divine ask the questions seeking light rise above the wrong and right understand that inner sight spans all space and time seek the world you hope to find dreams are elaborate and sublime don't ever stop just keep on trying until your spirit flies until it flies and it'll fly until you fly and you will fly don't ever stop just keep on flying we each have capabilities connections deep down in our soul we're universal spirits armed with capabilities beyond all control question all theory believe in color not just black and white research and reason i fucking do it every day and night always question what they say choose whatever games you like to play never feel lonely when you share healing starts when you show you care i can't imagine any other way i never knew another way no other way <span><strong>MORNING JAM</strong></span> instrumental <span><strong>NOTHING PERSONAL, BUT... </strong></span>sometimes i need to shout to let my feelings out when life leaves me in doubt some find nowhere to blend so hard to find a friend figure time to pretend play a big shot to an amateur lot so hard to get caught no one can tell the game that you sell i like how you spell critiques you claim as light don't really shine that bright most seem to just incite so let's see what you can do can you play the kazoo i'll give you a nice review listen big shot i don't admire you a lot or the lessons that you taught what made you come here did you have a bad year next time you should try beer blah blah blah blah blah blah constructive criticism blah blah blah blah blah blah can't anybody take the heat blah blah blah blah blah blah i am bulgarian beat a very successful european promater whatever the hell promater is i know you have the right to say what you might can't you be decent too most learn that when they're six a lesson learned that sticks nobody likes you pricks c’mon big shot you're put on the spot let's see what you got put up a song show me i'm wrong or is it too difficult i hope someday you see a cooler way to be and you can be set free in the mind not the mouth probably won't be too soon probably won't make a tune so safe and so immune c'mon big shot i put you on the spot let's see what you got put up a song don't need to be long prove me wrong blah blah blah blah blah blah freedom of speech man blah blah blah blah blah blah i have the right to say what i want bulgarian beat has the right to say what he wants about any song because after all i am a very successful music promater i still don’t know what promater is whatever i've wasted too much breath you're probably all full of meth that stuff can cause you death c’mon mr le chef god knows you're not tone deaf c'mon put up a song let's see what you can do so big shot i put you on the spot let's see what you got put up a song it don't need to be long and prove me wrong can you hear me big shot what the hell have you got i'm putting you on the spot let's see what you do can you play the kazoo i'll give you a nice review oh bobby you're getting so good on the kazoo you played mary had a little lamb uh very nice don't worry about those couple of notes you missed in the middle it could happen to anyone keep your head up young guy attention all planets of the solar federation attention all planets of the solar federation attention all planets of the solar federation we have assumed control we have assumed control we have assumed control <span><strong>OCHO</strong></span> i am a good person i i i i i i i i i i me me me me me me hahahahahaha yeah wooo <span><strong>INNER THOUGHT PROCESSES</strong></span> instrumental <span><strong>A PRAYER FOR EVERYONE - EXCEPT JIMMY</strong></span> held a grudge after our fight all day my mind was scheming decide to ask for peace with all my might that cold winter evening sacred request and a purposeful slight should ease this childhood seething a prayer for everyone in the world to be safe from all the evil except jimmy not jimmy don't save jimmy the main intent was to indict and laugh as he's weeping went to bed filled with delight turned away from his pleading but still something just wasn't right as the darkness was seeping i prayed that everyone in the world would be safe from all that's evil except jimmy not jimmy then i went to sleep that night couldn't get it out of my mind all i could think of was his plight i was sure he was screaming had to do something to make this right once i imagined the bleeding that's when i changed the prayer that i recite gotta start the healing a prayer for everyone in the world to be safe from all the evil even jimmy yes jimmy don't forget about jimmy you can't forget about don't you forget about tell me you won't forget jimmy <span><strong>SLEEPING</strong></span> slowly fading through thoughts invading been uneasy since my dreams have been hazy as i'm sleeping the dreams come near the moment before they reach me i swear they disappear i want what i can't get in my sleep i won't let this be my mind's meant for me and i will never stop believing in it all i need is a piece of time and leave all my problems behind see what i want to see i can be who i want to be and do the things i love to do my friend you'd be there with me too when reality's against me no one ever gets me the dreams i'd remember but they're not there they're not there morning waking how long will i take it no dreams to ease me so nothing ever frees me until i see you sleeping before the dawn starts creeping you look so peaceful and in that moment i feel so tranquil i love to see you at peace when you dream i need to let you be who you are so you can dream so free it's been my only peace of mind and in that piece of time all my problems are left behind while you see what you want to see when you're who you want to be all those things you love to do my friend you take me there with you and since reality's against me no one ever gets me the thoughts of you dreaming help ease the despair no despair <span><strong>AMERICA IS NOT WHAT IT SEEMS</strong></span> such shallow minds can be so blind the things they say give them away while those in need who gotta feed denied by greed no way the right is wrong our time is long and things should change today to think a person can be so cold just as if their heart's been sold to me the heart's worth more than their gold when many face each day with no way to meet their basic needs we must try help them replant those seeds provide them with a little relief the right view others' life as so cheap america is not what it seems no one knows that i pray in my own way best kept inside for me to bide not on display and everyone deserves some sun everyday seek those ray some find the light through darkest of skies or warmth in which our comfort relies radiate the mongers of hate this melting pot destiny's what makes our country so great we must seek domestic tranquility baby ever look in eyes of the free the light in them reminds me to see america still has its dream life is rich life's a **** so find your niche the game is played a price is paid then soon we fade way too quick may not seem fair but when you care you'll be amazed feel love and praised our country is at war with itself let's re-define our personal wealth don't be misled by popes kings or queens or republicans the senator's apology's obvious for all to see what they believe that's g o p policy fight for corporate rights can you believe they're selling out majority america's being robbed by the rich through oil war deceit and fear so let's take this country back just ask the axis he knows everything <span><strong>HAND IT OVER</strong></span> time heals all pain i recall somebody once told me i have myself to blame accepting what they sold me assistance cuts means taking back control and purpose they want me off my ass seek my own social service this first request begins with standard procedure reach for the sky welcome to my first adventure there's no way around it hurry hand it over i'm collecting tax directly from the well refined try not to look so aghast let's get this over too late trying to make me change my mind door to door in search of friends when i was younger i learned how capable i am to feed my hunger life gets tough it's up to me to make mine better a mental coat would fit me cozy like a sweater last year my part time job's cut claimed i burden the nation now i'm private sector and i'm helping job creation i'm tired of being called the bad guy fucking hand it over i'm not cold and callous but look in these eyes i hope you're not refusing help i need for my family that's all i needed to hear now you can say goodbye13 years of time invested in my education 14 schools i figured i'm an aberration finally came a time to stop making connections cause when they're gone they always felt just like rejections i testify through time with drinks and medication these bills are due i need some cash for compensation business that profits courts exempt them of their crimes now i'm in business and i'll trade your dollars for my dimes wise last second decision turning everything over now i bet you're wondering about that pain inside i'll level with you off the record now our transaction's over relax and take some shots of whiskey it will heal in time <span><strong>DROWNING</strong></span> drifting wading patience fading splashing sinking struggling drinking drowning i'm drowning plunging choking vision broken wishing trying gasping dying i'm drowning i wish that i could see your face just once again i'm drowning again i just can't pretend i'll be saved it's too late though i tried must be fate don't have what i need i'm ironically freed guess i lost no big deal once i drown i won't feel drowning drowning drifting wading patience fading splashing sinking struggling drinking drowning i’m drowning i'm going down to drown i'm down i'm going down <span><strong>MR. BILL</strong></span> mr bill mr bill why do they squash you and crush you and mush you and smash you and all you can say is oh no why do you sit there and take it why don't you get them back and make them pay for smashing the dough mr bill mr bill how many times do you get killed don't let them smash you or mash you or bash you and don't forget ahhhh <span><strong>BLOW ME AWAY</strong></span> we live our lives within a breadth of time we make the best of what we've got even if it not a lot last night the wind was blowing cold i felt a chill take hold left me empty inside as i was buried in thought we all make our own mistakes even chances we didn't take sometimes these lessons learned become who we are since we're the ones who are left to live our lives with these scars everything that we choose some we win some we lose and what might be right for me may not be right for you i know the opposite is also true so please don't think i'm blaming you i really wish you wouldn't take offense to the things i say so when that cold wind hit me yesterday i knew there was nothing i could say nothing i could do the one who blew it must be me because everything's all up to you those cold winds keep coming around they blow so cold i shiver from the sound last night they even brought me to my knees only the thought of seeing your face again kept me from the depths of its freeze i'd give my life to be with you through time cause without your touch i'm really not much and with those winds all around i know my end is confound since the cold from the emptiness drive me insane i thought you'd be here with me everyday now there is nothing i could do nothing i could say if this decision were left to me i'd ask please come home today just come home today i need you here with me those cold winds keep blowing through they blow so cold but what can i do i can hear them blowing through the trees if i knew you believed in me it would keep me from the freeze <span><strong>DAWN OF A NEW DAY</strong></span> blazing the earth's on fire my world's ablaze wasted mesmerized i can't help but gaze i'll make the best of what i got i've gotta take a shot i'm gonna keep rollin' on maybe i'll reach the dawn illusion our dreams weren't meant to be obtained confusion sometimes i don't know what i'm saying make the best of what you got or take another shot if you keep rollin' on you're gonna reach the dawn rough times never last here comes the dawn of a new day they'll be buried in the past with our **** ups and our mistakes push life's ugliness away at the dawn of a new day nature creates the beauty it destroys pressure to understand yet keep your poise you can settle for what you got or take another shot if you feel like rollin' on just gotta reach the dawn rough times never last here comes the dawn of a new day they'll be buried in the past with our **** ups and our mistakes push life's ugliness away every dawn of a new day i gotta find a better way i gotta see a better day agitation can't let bad thoughts weigh on your mind eradication the dawn will leave today behind we can settle for what we got or take another shot either way we're rollin' on until we reach the dawn rough times never last here comes the dawn of a new day they'll be buried in the past with our **** ups and our mistakes the ugliness begins to fade at the dawn of a new day i gotta see a better day </p> <p>• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •</p><p>THESE SONGS WEREN'T INCLUDED ON THE CD:</p> <p><span><strong>WHAT HAPPENED, SON?</strong></span> it's a tragedy when somebody ends their own life especially at a young age this was the last day in the life of kyle kubachka what happened, son sweet relief cold steel in my hand sweet relief inside the chamber will i have the courage to send myself to some other land as i lie all alone i wonder my life's not going the way i planned i'm finding it hard to cope everybody's tell me it's temporary there's no hope i wish that i could share this burden that lies deep within that i long for a place warm without a care a place where i can fit in tears would pour out of my eyes if i tried to explain don't blame yourself though that time never came i am loved and will be missed i know this to be true i just can't stop myself what am i to do this life is strange and difficult on the other side it's easy it's gotta be easier than this i want release from the unrelenting pain i feel this has to be done as soon as possible so my cherished loved ones the clock strikes three it's time for me to soar goodbye kyle you will be forever 19 in the hearts and minds of your parents your family and all of your friends goodbye <span><strong>THINK AGAIN</strong></span> before you ruin everything because your mind has blown your first mistake would be to drag me with you down that road think again there's gotta be a solution think again does it matter who's wrong think again don't need to add to the tension don't need to wreck your head so you better think again i see your situation is beginning to erode i won't stand by and watch you chip away at others' goad think again you gotta find a solution think again can you admit when you're wrong think again don't put the blame on a scapegoat yeah i see that you struggle everyday the same thing can't keep pointing at others even if they are to blame by assigning a scapegoat problems don't get solved and don't be surprised when these relations dissolve think again inaction to the comments facts and gossip misconstrued responsive triggers giving value self-respect subdued think again they'll push away at your buttons think again don't want to give them control think again just disconnect your emotion don't let them wreck your head so you better think again yeah just cause i don't respond to your last words that doesn't mean i concede the argument i make my own rules for the game i rise above think again then seek a higher plane so keep perspective don't let confrontation change your mood it shows you understand a self-respectful attitude <span><strong>LIES, LIES, LIES</strong></span> i won't listen there's always something wrong i feel there's something missing no signs of truth just words made up as alibis i get so tired of listening to lies lies lies i'm not perfect i'm lazy drink too much i'm immature i curse and such but if i hurt you i'll apologize and i'll mean it too if your way to make it right is put words in disguise i call those lies yeah i'm not listening to any more of your lies lies lies politicians corporate pigs religious phonies brokers it's so ironic that they advertise that they're so righteous patriotic bible thumping educated fetus loving family value market pumping just ask any orphan that you meet a single mother vet or drifter on the street i hope you'll listen whenever something's wrong and something ever missing here's a word of truth for you that i advise it's so obvious we'll see it in your eyes don't be like those i despise those motherfuckers spreading lies lies lies <span><strong>ABSOLUTION WITHIN</strong></span> wonder why i can't explain memories left inside my brain changes happening every day a change watching my loved ones drift away i'm absolutely alone my friend don't know when my time will end the only thing it seems should matter to me is being myself and free you too have the freedom to find what you need yes you do daydreams once came easy to me yesterday when we were running free sometimes thinking back to those days realize our memories turn to haze i'm absolutely alone in this world spend my time misunderstood by my girl i just can't help being myself sorry babe if you feel your life's on a shelf babe we tried and if we're really done with this ride our absolution within's justified time will be the only judge of me yes it will my mind showed some pictures to me lifetime supposed to wait and see sunshine always seems to burn me that's fine alone i'll face the journey i'm absolutely alone in this place wandering through time as i'm spiraling through space since i'm alone most of everyday it's pretty clear to me that i just gotta please the only person i know who sees yet doesn't mind who i am yeah that's me if you change your mind you know where i'll be yes you do</p><p>• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •</p><p>I don't know if this is even considered a blog, unless a blog is a collection of things that you have written during different time periods over the past 18 months that you have gathered to present in a single document so you can post it for all to read because you are extremely bored. If it is, then I'm good. If it's not, go ahead and call the blog police, I don't give a damn! LMFAO!!!</p><p> </p><p><em><strong>ERIK JURADO</strong></em></p>
<div><p><strong><span style="font-size: x-small;"><em>THIS IS A RE-WORKED BLOG FROM July 1, 2011 - </em></span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-size: x-small;"><em>I NEVER HAD A CHANCE TO EDIT THE FIRST VERSION UNTIL NOW.</em></span></strong></p><p><span style="font-size: small;">When I first started making music in December 2009, I had 4 original songs and 1 cover song that I had worked on during that month (with NO experience or training WHATSOEVER, I might add) and went as far as I could get with them, then thought... NOW WHAT??? EVERY DAY that month I would come straight home after work during the week and spend a few hours each day over the weekends. Now I was at a point where I had 5 songs and nothing in the idea factory, is there a next step? Were they good? Am I done with this experiment? Should I care if someone thinks it is horrible? Is it okay to think that this was the coolest thing that I have ever done??? Could this be the last question that I ask myself??? All kinds of questions popped into my head, yet I could not answer them myself because my brain hit a dead end after that burst of creative outflow. After hearing the muddy sound, I figured I would mess with the placement of instruments - I spent about an hour mixing those first 4 songs!!! I didn't know I'd end up wasting an extra 15 minutes per song doing something that had nothing to do with making music! How much I've learned since then! I would sacrifice any one of my guitars if I could live in a world where it only took 15 minutes for me to mix a song now! Anyways, I was at a point where I was in need of a listener! I only knew of iTunes and CD's at the time and iTunes was for professionals. I made a 5 song "EP" and called it "BADASS," because that's how good I felt. I happened to have a family picture with me on a zebra/donkey - or a “zonkey” - in Tijuana, so I thought that would make the title a little more humbling and I made about 10 CD’s, to give out to the first 10 people who had showed any interest. I still have about 5 or 6 left - in case you were wondering. </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: small;">So, WHO should be the CHOSEN ONE to be granted the privilege to be my first listener? GOT IT! Out of all of the people from the past, present and in the future, that will ever be on this (or any other) planet, I decided that my girlfriend would be my choice to have access to this top secret endeavor - after all, she did know me before I was a musician - I knew I could trust her not to get all caught up in being starstruck. I played my first song, DROWNING" for her and she talked through the entire song. Then, I started the next song for her. The talking continued until the songs were finished playing. Then she got up and said, "Yeah, those were good." FIRST OF ALL, HOW CAN A PERSON WORSHIP THESE SONGS IF THEY DON’T DEDICATE THEIR ENTIRE MIND TO THEM? YOU NEED TO LET EACH SONG ENTER THE BRAIN IN ITS NATURAL, SPIRITUAL WAY - WORSHIPPERS NEED TO HAVE THEIR “WORSHIP” COME FROM DEEP WITHIN - NOT FROM TRUST! I have worshipped songs before, one needs to pay attention to the lyrics, feeling, musicianship, and technical skills - she didn't do ANY of those, so my music couldn't have been assessed reliably. I had to declare her judgement “biased.” Who could really blame her??? She loves everything I do and was probably overwhelmed, due to the fact that she was now officially going out with a musician - in light of these understandable reasons, her loyalty was forgiven. She is funny too, calling each of my songs by a personalized descriptor, such as, "that one song that is short where you’re yelling something and then you laugh like a maniac." She would rather say ALL OF THOSE WORDS than just say "OCHO." I let her talk the description out since she likes talking about my music. But now I'm back to where I was - I'm back to finding the first listener. </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: small;">OF COURSE!!! MY BEST FRIEND!!! We know each other’s good and bad sides, and we accept each other for the person we are. He actually has a longer history knowing the real me than my girlfriend, I should have thought of him first! Oh well, we'll be even now that I'll let him be the first to LISTEN to these. He will be impressed and proud to have me as his best friend after hearing my tunes. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that will probably lead to him telling all of his other friends that they are cool and everything, but his BEST FRIEND IN L.A. trusts him to experience his music before anyone else gets the chance to, and no matter how many miles are between, they shouldn’t assume that they will be moving in to the “lead friend” position any time soon - because it is already taken. So, since he lives in Washington and I live In California, email was going to have to be the way to present this opportunity to him. He’ll be getting the “straight dope” - as the kids like to say - straight from his "musician buddy down in L.A." After I sent an email with the music attachments, I was feeling good. It’s nice to give special gifts to your friends when they are not expecting them. He was probably so excited to see that in the midst of all of his spam emails. A couple of days later I called to find out which track he loved the most. I was informed that he hadn't had the time yet, so I figured that he wanted to do this “old school” - those kids and their slang, they really crack me up! He probably didn’t want to “just listen” to the songs - especially RIGHT AFTER complaining about all of those viagra emails he had to sift through. I was sure that he wanted to be relaxed, with a freshly rolled "cigarette" and listen to my creation in the proper atmosphere - in the dark with some headphones. Sorta like when I purchased PINK FLOYD'S "ANIMALS" album, and then we took turns listening to the songs, with and without headphones, so we could try to find out WHY the album sounded better WITH the headphones (it also sounded better WHILE EATING a bowl of Cocoa Puffs...) you see, guys are on a whole different level when it comes to mixing pleasure with the scientific method! This time I would wait for his call to me - since it was his Sunday to call with the football odds. He would have Friday night to listen to the 5 songs, and then he’d probably invite his second string collection of friends on Saturday night, showing them by example of what it takes to put the BEST in the tag, "BEST friend." I can show a little patience - SEE! I can be very adaptable - HEY! There are two more qualities of what a best friend is all about that just popped out unexpectedly! But we can’t start gong down that road cause we’ll be here for too long, and I’m sure you have other things to do eventually, so I “won’t go there.” That’s one of those phrases that kids say while they hold their index finger up and they wave it back and forth opposing the back and forth movement of their head. Okay, that one doesn’t really translate through text, so we’ll just move on... oh yeah, my over-worked buddy... apparently, his company had been working him like a dog that whole week. His damn boss was being some kind of "well-healed, big wheel" telling MY friend, "keep on digging down in the pig bin!” I told him not to worry about listening to my song - I didn't want my song "DROWNING" to be some new fate that he feels he should take on - it was hard enough to hear that he had ended up living in the "PIGS, THREE DIFFERENT ONES" story... I didn't know he would take the songs all the way like this. Of course, I know it could have been “just a co-incidence” - but, why chance it??? After all, he is my best friend. Come to think of it, I don't think he has had a chance to listen to ANY of my songs yet - he has never even mentioned them. I guess Pink Floyd knew EXACTLY what they were talking about, cause I am now thinking that my buddy’s boss must be one of those real pig-headed jerks that “non-creative” types need to work for just to make a living!</span></p><p><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-size: small;">NOW WHO???? FAMILY!!! WHAT A GREAT IDEA!!! NOT!!!! Ahhh, another one of those things that the kids are saying these days... They get you going one direction and then pull out the rug, simply by throwing in, “NOT!!!” I like to be up to date on all of the latest juvie jive! Anyways, those first family replies: ALL GENERIC! "I like your songs." "Those are good." "Nice." "I'm impressed." THAT'S NOT WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR!!!! DO THEY MOVE YOU?? DOES YOUR SKIN HAVE GOOSEBUMPS DURING MY LAUGH IN “OCHO?” IF NOT, WHAT DO YOU THINK MY SONGS ARE LACKING? WHY DO THEY SEEM SO MUCH DIFFERENT FROM PROFESSIONALLY RECORDED MUSIC? I NEED SOME KIND OF DIRECTION FROM SOMEBODY WHO KNOWS WHAT I COULD DO TO IMPROVE MY MUSIC, BECAUSE IT IS NOT BEING WORSHIPPED IN THE PROPER MANNER! NOBODY WANTS TO TELL ME! I DON'T KNOW, SO DO THEY EVEN KNOW??? I decided to “Google” the words "music” AND “worshippers" AND “feedback” - and I was presented with a list of links, ONE was a music web site that had a forum that allowed a person to ask for reviews. BINGO!!!! The internet comes through again! What a wonderful tool we have in the internet!!! How Al Gore was able to invent the internet AND have more votes than George W. Bush in the 2000 election YET STILL LOSE that election will always be a mystery to me. Maybe it has to do with all of the voting fraud that those damn minorities are committing - FREAKIN’ minorities! That’s one that my niece likes using - the word “freakin”, probably because it sounds like a swear word, but doesn’t actually cross the line. It is a technically acceptable word that I am hearing more and more lately by kids too. “My freakin’ teacher got all freakin’ mad cause I freakin’ forgot to do my freakin’ homework!” WHAT A “FREAKIN’” BICTH! Those damn kids are getting smarter each and every generation - try busting them for using the term "bicth" and they are always so quick to point out that a bicth is a female dog. Well, back to those freakin’ minorities... they are ruining this country! The commercials with the big waving flags show actual video of these people sneaking over the borders to vote. Those flag waving commercials have me thinking we should send them all back where they came from - wherever the other side of the wall was! Actually, that does seem like an awful lot of effort just to vote. Maybe we should jump the wall and vote in their elections, we’ll vote for the Taco Bell dog or something and laugh when they are run by a Chiuahua. Whatever happened to good, old fashioned revenge?" Ah, the good old days... I guess I must me getting old. Anyways, Al Gore should have been president for making up the internet - that’s the bottom line - case closed! But he didn’t feel like fighting - democrats usually shy away from ALL fights. Now, I wouldn’t go so far as to call them all “pussies” cause I don’t know who I’d be offending - I don’t need for someone to walk up to me some day and punch me in the mouth for calling them a name - especially if I happen to be in a job interview, I don’t know ANYONE who has ever been hired while their nose and mouth were bleeding - NOONE. But Al Gore didn’t try to make his case to be president, and now he’s all into global warming. I guess the global warming people paid better or had better benefits. Who knows? Maybe Bush won by magic. Politics is one of those magical subjects in which ANYTHING is a possibility - IN FACT, CORPORATIONS HAVE BEEN GIVEN THE SAME RIGHTS AS PEOPLE!!! True Dat! I’m starting to get sick of those damn kids and their made up words - I’m beginning to think that maybe they don’t know how to speak proper English so they make up this other crap! But back to the Supreme Court’s ruling saying that corporations have the same rights as people, thus creating many magical possibilities to occur within politics... magical, indeed! Co-incidentally, I went the same route as I believe our founding fathers would have chosen. I'll let a random individual be the first to listen to my creations. THE PERFECT WAY TO GIVE EACH AND EVERY INDIVIDUAL A CHANCE - or corporation! 
- my first attempt ever at using a smiley - Kids use smilies ALL OF THE TIME!!! I never used a smiley cause i always thought those things were too gay! (Due to their happy smile. I wasn't suggesting they are homosexuals - although, the Supreme Court has set a precedence with the ruling allowing corporations their ability to have first amendment rights, so, I guess that would seem to suggest that smilies should be allowed to be considered homosexual if they choose to go down that road... what was I talking about before those freakin’ smilies chose to live lives of sin, yet have their equality??? OH YEAH, FIRST COME FIRST SERVED - A lottery to see who gets the very first taste of my aural expressions - a very democratic process that shows my support for this country and our beliefs... SO, LET'S DO THIS - I will submit a post on the music site requesting reviews for my songs - and let the public go at it - DEMOCRATIC-STYLE! </span></p><p><span> </span></p><p><span style="font-size: small;">3 songs can be uploaded for free - so I register and upload. I make my request for review in the forum, now it's just a matter of time. I take a break, do some chores, get a little work out in, grab a snack, then about 15 minutes later I check for all of the replies and NOTHING!! Why am I being ignored. I figured that I was probably being hazed for being the new guy? GOOD ONE!!! After 30 minutes - STILL no reviews! I'm starting to think that the site is some "locals only" site - I'm being shunned. I am using the most fair and democratic approach and these local yokels want to keep all of the action to themselves. Maybe one of them will come through - I'll have to work a double shift on my patience today - I can do amazing things in the mind-over-matter department. By one full hour, STILL NO FANS!!! THAT'S IT!!! I've had enough of this site's mental abuse. Instead of telling them off though, I decided I'd be the grown up, and since I can't smack them each in their heads to get them moving forward on this case, I think I need to set an example to help prod them along. Maybe one of them will read my homemade comment and want to get in on some of that ground-level action - PLUS, I don't think getting kicked out of ANOTHER forum for inappropriate language will solve anything and I didn't want to move on after investing so much time already at the site, although the victims have a rough time dealing with their lives after such an assault on their mortal mind... I'll be the bigger man and lead by example, so I gave myself a nice review of what I tried to accomplish. I waited and still nothing. About 20 minutes later, I lobbed in my next verbal smoke bomb to get some feedback! Nothing. Then the third V.B. (I sometimes like to use abbreviations to save time with these blogs) STILL NOTHING. I give up... I'll figure out a new plan after I get a good night's sleep. Next day there's a HUGE BOOM in the email right after the “SALES ON CANADIAN VIAGRA” email that sounded like a pretty tempting deal!!!! THERE WAS FINALLY A REVIEW!!! Smoked out... just liked planned!</span></p><p><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></p><p><span style="font-size: small;">I was so relieved to finally get to my first comment... "WE DON'T COMMENT ON OUR OWN TRACKS AT THIS SITE, PLEASE STOP."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></p><p><span style="font-size: small;">Okay, the pressure is finally off on getting that first comment!! WHEW!!! Now I wonder what they thought of my music. I asked again. THEN I GOT MY FIRST REAL RESPONSE!!!</span></p><p><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></p><p><span style="font-size: small;">"This doesn't have the right structure, sound, levels, it sounds bad." The first thing I thought is that I was experiencing the same exact feeling as if I had jumped into an unfamiliar shower. I get in thinking it will be the right temperature and find out how shockingly cold the water feels -(thanks for your comments friends and family!) Then try to make a spontaneous, calculated adjustment to the knobs, which always seems like way too much time fumbling around for the proper knob. I turn the knobs only to scald myself the very next second, feeling the same intense shock, but on the opposite end of the pain spectrum. (Thanks for your review music site locals!) I know no person or thing could logically be blamed - after all, it's my personal thing to deal with. I still end up thinking "OUCH, THAT WAS WAY COLD AND THEN YOU BURNED ME. YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF FUKCERS!!!" </span></p><p><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></p><p><span style="font-size: small;">Then, a day or so later, SOMEONE COMES THROUGH!!! </span></p><p><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></p><p><span style="font-size: small;">With both the right combination of hard cold truth mixed with warm understanding of what I was attempting to create AND adding some suggestions since he realized I was an obvious beginner, I GOT EXACTLY WHAT I WAS HOPING FOR!!!!! My very next upload sounded SO MUCH better and I felt good about what I was doing and comfortable with where I was considering my experience. I didn't know what I needed at the time, but when I got it everything changed for me. I know it can't happen every time, but I now TRY to post comments in that same spirit that fixed me for that moment in time. The more complex and difficult we seem to be behaving or feeling seems to be fixed when it feels like somebody gets your intentions, needs, desires, whatever... MAGIC!!! It shouldn't be expected - when it happens, it is a privilege. Thanks to all of you who do this. It doesn't even matter if I'm not involved - I see it going on and I feel the sense of community. You complete me. Okay, that was uncalled for - I admit it. But I will say that music completes me. I make it for myself - FIRST! And if somebody happens to like a song, that’s also a great feeling. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></p><p><span style="font-size: small;">I'm changing my statement about government being a magical place where anything can happen to MUSIC being such a magical place where anything can happen. That leaves government with no convenient, optimistic explanation - as if it makes no sense at all... hmm, who would have guessed that?</span></p><p> </p><p><em><span style="font-family: 'arial black', 'avant garde'; font-size: small;">ERIK JURADO<br />http://www2.mixposure.com/The_Erik_Jurado_Experience/<br /></span></em></p></div>
<p class="paragraph_style_2">When I first started making music in December 2009, I had 4 original songs and 1 cover song that I had worked on during that month (with NO experience or training WHATSOEVER, I might add) and went as far as I could get with them, then thought... NOW WHAT??? EVERY DAY that month I would come straight home after work during the week and spend a few hours each day over the weekends. Now I was at a point where I had 5 songs and nothing in the idea factory, is there a next step? Were they good? Am I done with this experiment? Should I care if someone thinks it is horrible? Is it okay to think that this was the coolest thing that I have ever done??? Could this be the last question that I ask myself??? All kinds of questions popped into my head, yet I could not answer them myself because my brain hit a dead end after that burst of creative outflow. After hearing the muddy sound, I figured I would mess with the placement of instruments - I spent about an hour mixing those first 4 songs!!! I didn't know I'd end up wasting an extra 15 minutes per song doing something that had nothing to do with making music! How much I've learned since then! I would sacrifice any one of my guitars if I could live in a world where it only took 15 minutes for me to mix a song now! Anyways, I was at a point where I was in need of a listener! I only knew of iTunes and CD's at the time and iTunes was for professionals. I made a 5 song "EP" and called it "BADASS," because that's how good I felt. I happened to have a family picture with me on a zebra/donkey - or a “zonkey” - in Tijuana, so I thought that would make the title a little more humbling and I made about 10 CD’s, to give out to the first 10 people who had showed any interest. I still have about 5 or 6 left. </p><p class="paragraph_style_2"> </p><p class="paragraph_style_2">So, WHO should be the CHOSEN ONE to be granted the privilege to be my first listener? GOT IT! Out of all of the people from the past, present and in the future that will ever be on this (or any other) planet, I decided that my girlfriend would be my choice to have access to this top secret endeavor - after all, she did know me before I was a musician - I knew I could trust her. I played my first song, DROWNING" for her and she talked through the whole song. Then I started the next song for her and she obviously had other things on her mind because she walked out of the room for something and came back in to resume her historic privilege to be my first listener. Her talking continued until the songs were finished playing. Then she got up and said, "Yeah, those were good." FIRST OF ALL, HOW CAN A PERSON WORSHIP THESE SONGS IF THEY DON’T FOCUS ON THEM? YOU NEED TO LET EACH SONG ENTER YOUR MIND IN ITS NATURAL, SPIRITUAL WAY - WORSHIPPERS NEED TO HAVE THE “WORSHIP” COME FROM DEEP WITHIN! I have listened to music before, one needs to pay attention to the lyrics, feeling, musicianship, and technical skills - she didn't do ANY of those, so my music couldn't have been assessed reliably. So, I had to declare the judgement biased. Who could really blame her??? She loves everything I do and was probably overwhelmed due to the fact that she was now officially going out with a musician - her loyalty was forgiven. She calls each of my songs by a personalized descriptor, such as, "that one song that is short where you’re yelling something and then you laugh like a maniac." She would rather say all of those words than just say "OCHO," so, I let her talk the description out since she likes talking about my music. But now I'm back to where I was - I'm back to finding the first listener. </p><p class="paragraph_style_2"> </p><p class="paragraph_style_2">OF COURSE!!! MY BEST FRIEND!!! We know each other’s good and bad sides, and we accept each other for the person we are - he actually has a longer history knowing the real me than my girlfriend, I should have thought of him first! Oh well, we'll be even now that I'll let him be the first to LISTEN to these. He will be impressed and proud to have me as his best friend after hearing my tunes. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that will probably lead to him telling all of his other friends that they are cool and everything, but his BEST FRIEND trusts him to experience his music before anyone else gets the chance to, and no matter how many miles are between, they shouldn’t assume that they will be moving in to the “lead friend” position any time soon - because it is already taken. So, since he lives in Washington and I live In California, email was going to have to be the way to present this opportunity to him. He’ll be getting the “straight dope” - as the kids love to say - straight from his "musician buddy down in L.A." After I sent an email with the music attachments, I was feeling good. It’s nice to give special gifts to your friends when they are not expecting them. He was probably so excited to see that in the midst of all of his spam emails. A couple of days later I called to find out which track he loved the most. I was informed that he hadn't had the time yet, so I figured that he wanted to do this “old school” - those kids and their slang, they really crack me up! He probably didn’t want to just listen to the songs right after complaining about viagra emails, he wanted to be relaxed, with a freshly-rolled "cigarette" and listen to this creation in the dark with some headphones - sorta like when I purchased PINK FLOYD'S "ANIMALS" album and we took turns listening to the songs, with and without headphones, so we could try to find out WHY the album sounded better WITH the headphones (it also sounded better WITH Cocoa Puffs...) you see, guys are on a whole different level when it comes to mixing pleasure with the scientific method! This time I would wait for his call to me - since it was his Sunday to call with the football odds. He would have Friday night to listen to the 5 songs, and then he’d probably invite some friends over to listen again with them on Saturday night... I can show a little patience. Apparently, his company had been working him like a dog that whole week. His damn boss was being some kind of "well-healed, big wheel" telling MY friend, "keep on digging" down in the pig bin! I told him not to worry about listening to my song - I didn't want my song "DROWNING" to be his new fate - it was hard enough to hear that he had ended up living in the "PIGS, THREE DIFFERENT ONES" story... I didn't know he would take the songs all the way like this. Of course, I know it could have been “just a co-incidence” - but, why chance it, he is my best friend. Come to think of it, I don't think he has listened to many of my songs - he has never even mentioned them. His boss must be a real pig-headed, jerk!</p><p class="paragraph_style_2"> </p><p class="paragraph_style_2">NOW WHO???? FAMILY! FIRST REPLIES: ALL GENERIC! "I like your songs." "Those are good." "Nice." "I'm impressed." THAT'S NOT WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR!!!! DO THEY MOVE YOU?? DOES YOUR SKIN HAVE GOOSEBUMPS DURING MY LAUGH IN “OCHO?” IF NOT, WHAT DO YOU THINK MY SONGS ARE LACKING? WHY DO THEY SEEM SO MUCH DIFFERENT FROM PROFESSIONALLY RECORDED MUSIC? I NEED SOME KIND OF DIRECTION FROM SOMEBODY WHO KNOWS WHAT I COULD DO TO IMPROVE MY MUSIC! NOBODY WANTS TO TELL ME! I DON'T KNOW, SO DO THEY EVEN KNOW??? I decided to Google "music critics" and found a music web site that had a forum that allowed a person to ask for reviews. BINGO!!!! The internet comes through again! What a wonderful tool the internet has become!!! How Al Gore invented the internet AND had more votes than George W. Bush in the 2000 election and STILL LOST that election will always be a mystery to me. Maybe it has to do with all of the voting fraud that minorities are committing - damn minorities! They are ruining this country - the commercials with the big waving flags show these people sneaking over the borders to vote!! Those flag waving commercials have me thinking we should send them all back where they came from! Voting fraud will be avoided now with our new voting ID’s that states are trying to pass. Al Gore should have been president for making up the internet - that’s the bottom line! Now he’s into global warming. Who knows? Maybe Bush won by magic. Politics is one of those magical subjects where ANYTHING can happen - IN FACT, CORPORATIONS HAVE BEEN GIVEN THE SAME RIGHTS AS PEOPLE!!! Magical, indeed! I'll let a random individual be the first to listen to my creations. THE PERFECT WAY TO GIVE EACH AND EVERY INDIVIDUAL A CHANCE - or corporation - my first attempt ever at using a smiley - I never used a smiley cause i always thought those things were too gay! (due to the happy smile. I wasn't suggesting they are homosexuals, although the Supreme Court has set a precedence with the ruling allowing corporations their first amendment rights, I guess that would seem to suggest that smileys should be allowed to be considered homosexual if they choose to go down that road... what was I talking about before those smileys chose to live lives of sin, yet have their equality??? OH YEAH, FIRST COME FIRST SERVED, A lottery to see who gets the very first taste of my aural expressions - a very democratic process that shows my support for this country and our beliefs... SO, LET'S DO THIS - I will submit a post on the music site requesting reviews for my songs - and let the public go at it - DEMOCRATIC-STYLE! </p><p class="paragraph_style_2"> </p><p class="paragraph_style_2">3 songs can be uploaded for free - so I register and upload. I make my request for review in the forum, now it's just a matter of time. I take a break, do some chores, get a little work out in, grab a snack, then about 15 minutes later I check for all of the replies and NOTHING!! Why am I being ignored. I figured that I was probably being hazed for being the new guy? GOOD ONE!!! After 30 minutes - STILL no reviews! I'm starting to think that the site is some "locals only" site - I'm being shunned. I am using the most fair and democratic approach and these local yokels want to keep all of the action to themselves. Maybe one of them will come through - I'll have to work a double shift on my patience today - I can do amazing things in the mind-over-matter department. By one full hour, STILL NO FANS!!! THAT'S IT!!! I've had enough of this site's mental abuse. Instead of telling them off though, I decided I'd be the grown up, and since I can't smack them each in their heads to get them moving forward on this case, I think I need to set an example to help prod them along. Maybe one of them will read my homemade comment and want to get in on some of that ground-level action - PLUS, I don't think getting kicked out of ANOTHER forum for inappropriate language will solve anything and I didn't want to move on after investing so much time already at the site, although the victims have a rough time dealing with their lives after such an assault on their mortal mind... I'll be the bigger man and lead by example, so I gave myself a nice review of what I tried to accomplish. I waited and still nothing. About 20 minutes later, I lobbed in my next verbal smoke bomb to get some feedback! Nothing. Then the third V.B. (I sometimes like to use abbreviations to save time with these blogs) STILL NOTHING. I give up... I'll figure out a new plan after I get a good night's sleep. Next day there's a HUGE BOOM in the email right after the “SALES ON CANADIAN VIAGRA” email that sounded like a pretty tempting deal!!!! THERE WAS FINALLY A REVIEW!!! Smoked out... just liked planned!</p><p class="paragraph_style_2"> </p><p class="paragraph_style_2">I was so relieved to finally get to my first comment... "WE DON'T COMMENT ON OUR OWN TRACKS AT THIS SITE, PLEASE STOP."</p><p class="paragraph_style_2"> </p><p class="paragraph_style_2">Okay, the pressure is finally off on getting that first comment!! WHEW!!! Now I wonder what they thought of my music. I asked again. THEN I GOT MY FIRST REAL RESPONSE!!!</p><p class="paragraph_style_2"> </p><p class="paragraph_style_2">"This doesn't have the right structure, sound, levels, it sounds bad." The first thing I thought is that I was experiencing the same exact feeling as if I had jumped into an unfamiliar shower. I get in thinking it will be the right temperature and find out how shockingly cold the water feels -(thanks for your comments friends and family!) Then try to make a spontaneous, calculated adjustment to the knobs, which always seems like way too much time fumbling around for the proper knob. I turn the knobs only to scald myself the very next second, feeling the same intense shock, but on the opposite end of the pain spectrum. (Thanks for your review music site locals!) I know no person or thing could logically be blamed - after all, it's my personal thing to deal with. I still end up thinking "OUCH, THAT WAS WAY COLD AND THEN YOU BURNED ME. YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF FUKCERS!!!" </p><p class="paragraph_style_2"> </p><p class="paragraph_style_2">Then, a day or so later, SOMEONE COMES THROUGH!!! </p><p class="paragraph_style_2"> </p><p class="paragraph_style_2">With both the right combination of hard cold truth mixed with warm understanding of what I was attempting to create AND adding some suggestions since he realized I was an obvious beginner, I GOT EXACTLY WHAT I WAS HOPING FOR!!!!! My very next upload sounded SO MUCH better and I felt good about what I was doing and comfortable with where I was considering my experience. I didn't know what I needed at the time, but when I got it everything changed for me. I know it can't happen every time, but I now TRY to post comments in that same spirit that fixed me for that moment in time. The more complex and difficult we seem to be behaving or feeling seems to be fixed when it feels like somebody gets your intentions, needs, desires, whatever... MAGIC!!! It shouldn't be expected - when it happens, it is a privilege. Thanks to all of you who do this. It doesn't even matter if I'm not involved - I see it going on and I feel the sense of community. You complete me. Okay, that was uncalled for - I admit it. But I will say that music completes me. I make it for myself - FIRST! And if somebody happens to like a song, that’s also a great feeling. </p><p class="paragraph_style_2"> </p><p class="paragraph_style_2">I'm changing my statement about government being a magical place where anything can happen to MUSIC being such a magical place where anything can happen. That leaves government with no convenient, optimistic explanation - as if it makes no sense at all... hmm, who would have guessed that?</p>
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